JC

Guatemala Mission Support DVD

2010-02-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

My Guatemala Support Dvd. I have not posted in a while, but I want to share this with you all. I only have about 3 and a half weeks left til I am gone and I can't wait to see what the Lord will have in store for this year.

Please keep Me in your prayers. I know he will provide all that is needed. He is a GOOD God(a little bit of an understatement), but He is. TO HIM BE ALL THE GLORY!!!

Culture

2009-12-14T08:23:00.000-08:00

This is not my quote, obviously, but its something I want to share with ya'll:

'Culture' is everything we don't have to do.

Culture consists of the gratuitous stylistic extras that we add to the things we do have to do.

You have to eat, but you don't have to decorate elaborately prepared curries with silver leaf. You have to move around, but you don't have to dance.

Culture is a biological drive for humans. It is not something that we just add on at the end, after we've dealt with all those survival problems, but something we keep doing all the time.'

-Brian Eno

Addicted

2009-11-30T08:54:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking the other day about something that seemed to make alot of sense for me. Why do some of us when we do anything good or bad we are filled with so much passion and we lose ourselves to it. Or maybe to someone. I looked at my life and was thinking over the time of all the stuff I had done in my life. When I was younger I HAD to be the center of attention no matter where I was at. And it was not good in the slightest. A little older I pursued a girl, which I never got with, though I sought her out for alot of my fifth grade year. All my focus, attention, in and out of school was revolved around this girl. A year later I started smoking weed and that became my life. All I did was smoke and if I wasn't, I would be at home lazy or sleeping. It went into other drugs. I lost my life to it. Later I got into fishing and all I did everyday, sometimes more than once a day, would spend time out in the water. Music, trying to fit in, whatever it was, I was only able to do one thing very overly extreme. I have been like this my entire life.

But I thought about something that made much sense to me. The word says that God knew us before the foundation of the world and that he also formed us in our mother's womb. Well I thought, I am created with something that WILL find something to give it's all too. Now it should be directed toward God in it's most pure and correct way, but when it isn't directed or focused toward Him, well, you see what it does. God wants me and He wants me to lose myself to Him. That's it! Doesn't it make so much sense. I believe every one of us have things like this. When it is directed toward God, it is what gives us our beauty, our meaning, our life, our joy, and satisfaction. But when it isn't it chokes us, it kills us, and it makes us miserably depressed with such a lack of satisfaction.

When I came too the Lord, all I wanted to do was seek Him, pray to Him, and read the word, and go to church. It became not just an event a few days a week, but it became my life. He is also starting to teach me over the last few years, that I can do 'things' and i don't have to over do it. It's been a bumpy road but so worth every bump that is forming me into a better man. I am thankful for the family of support I have around me. How I am accepted with my flaws and most importantly, is that I am never alone in this walk. Love

Verse from the Song Book

2009-11-02T09:15:00.000-08:00

>The Lord saved me so dearly and truly. LORD, You can use me. I pursue thee daily. Yes indeed, it's not just one day a week. Head down on just one knee, praying openly and free. 'Open my eyes, that I may see more clearly.' God help me! Devil keep on tempting me. Making me think you aint really, but really you here with me. I fear thee...<

There was a time where I was writing songs alot of my time because it was so fresh to me and the relationship with God was so strong. I don't know what happened, or the place I began to turn more complacent in my heart, but I feel He has in many people been reminding us by His grace and returning us to Him again. Where it is ALL about Him. All our "doings" and everything must flow out of a heart that is submitted to CHrist!! So as it is a sobering time in my life, it is a glorious time.

And my next song talks of exactly that. Its called 'What Happened..?'

Releasing Love

2009-08-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

I had a dream the other night. I was in a church similar to The Lion of Judah and like often times when some of us go there, we were up in front praying over people. So I began to lay my hands on an older woman.
(Now, I don't know about anybody else, but a lot of times when I pray for someone I feel like I must see some "thing" happen, and that the responsibility rests on me. So I then feel like I must either raise my voice or... just do something out of my fleshly ministering instead of spirit to spirit and allowing God to move. Please know that I am not saying raising your voice or looking sometimes crazy are wrong, just only with the wrong motives in prayer is when it becomes a problem.)
So I continued forward to pray for this woman and the exact moment I lay my hands on her she began to shake violently and in a side-to-side motion, until she lost ability to stand and she fell out and hit the ground, though quite gracefully considering the impulsive shaking she was undergoing. The point I am getting at is this: I did not do anything. I simply and in obedience just laid my hands on her shoulders and this happened. I don't believe even a prayer was released from me over her.

Now here is that part that really got me. I was praying behind her and in front of her was a being I would guess is God, or the Spirit of God standing just a little back, about ten feet from the woman. When I had laid hands on her I felt I saw the face of God just light up with such joy and happiness and He was looking to me. Then in my heart I heard His voice saying "I am so proud of my son, I love my son." He then breathed and released something of substance to the woman I had laid my hands on and when it had hit her she then began with the shaking. Like I said, nothing I had done had brought about this result. Only through my obedience that caused God to be so proud of me made it happen. Not that I earned His love through this or anything but the word of God says that if we obey God we will remain in His love and if we remain in Him, He will grant whatever we ask for according to His will. And I believe that the closer we get to God the knowledge of His will would become more known to us. So, it must be Him ministering through us all. We cannot do any more ministering in our flesh, which is just death. It must be Christ. He loves us and desires to infuse us and use us to show the world the love of God and be the ministers of Reconciliation to point souls to the father. So I urge us all to stop and let go of our agendas and take upon the will of God for our lives. I promise you, it will be much more fulfilling and worthwhile in the end. He Loves Us So Much!!! Don't reject it, Recieve it, be Changed and Transformed by it, Remain in it, and the RELEASE IT!!!!!!!!!!

4 days remaing in Guatemala

2009-07-08T15:55:00.000-07:00

First I appologize to those who have been following me and my trip but the person who I had used his laptop left here and I just am making it back into the computer room today. I am going to sum it up of course but The group from my church got in about a week ago and it has been great. Pastor Mike left that Friday which I was supposed to go with him to the airport but i wasnt woken up and it was very early.

Anyways, The three of us guys continued on the work down in the forest below and finished digging around the trees and we moved on to ripping stumps out of the ground which is a pretty tireing job. Its rained alot though so the amount of work we want to do is not what we have been doing. Also we have been doing our devotions every day with Lazaro and Brandy and a couple times in the church with all the students. We got to play alot more with the kids and spend some good time with God. I am really blessed by the people here. So to sum it all up real quick alot of good time in prayer, worship, working, fellowshiping, and just doing what we feel God is leading us to do.

Today I went with Lazaros wife Glendy to Xeparquiy where one man was murdered by gun over what I think was crops. We went to there house where alot of people came to give gifts and to comfort the family. He was a father and a what seems to be a good husband. I was a very somber time. But something I never first hand experienced before here. His coufin was lying out and we sat around it for a while.His kids were so young I dont think they understand what was going on. But so we got back and everybody began painting the room. We had devotion at 2 where a pastor from Mobil, Alabama came and shared. Its been a nother rainy day here in Panimaquin which pushes our work further back. Tomorrow we are going to Chimaltenango to help with an orfanage for specially handicapped kids. God bless you all and I will try to update before I leave.

Day 10 to 15 Guatemala

2009-06-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

I apologize it has been a while since I posted last but brace yourselves your about to get filled in on everything thats been going on. Last Sunday we went (with the exception of Sarah due to her illness) down to Xeparquiy for a Quincenera celebration for a girl who goes to school here. They really do it up for those. Alot of people do sweet 16's in the US but in LatinAmerica its sweet 15. The girl gets a whole celebration. A ring is placed on her finger as if she is getting married. And then the reception with once again excellent food. Getting back around 3 some of the kids wanted to see a movie so we brought them into our apartment. It was bad quality but the time being spent with them was worth it plus more. Later I walked to the church and helped Cruz and Delila clean the church out from the wedding the day before. Once again I laughed because even in hard work (there was alot of mess in there) you can experience such joy and peace being around them. My prayer is that this servant perspective will remain with all the while I return home. Church that night was not many people because of the busy weekend. But it was a great night of prayer and worship and Pastor Mike bring the word.

The next day began our week long teaching assignment. We are to teach all the Basico students english. I am teaching them items in the kitchen and basic commands for example: Open the fridge or Hand me a knife please. Most of the week was with this and me doing more work down in the forest below. Man I love Justo. He is always working outside. Always smiling and happy though he is the most difficult man in the village to understand I would say. But he never misses a time to say, "Hola, Mi Hermanooooooo." I will try to talk to him and he says something more and I dont understand so he laughs and says the same short phrase again. So with the exception of a couple days that I played with some of the kids soccer or just ran around awhile, its been a good and busy week....Oh..... Lester got a fishing pole so I helped him rig it up. They have never went fishing before but are excited for the time they are able to go.

Today Friday, we woke up and met everyone by the vehicles to load up and head out to the baptisms. 5 people are getting baptized today. I rode in the back of a red truck hanging on to the railing. It wasn't like Pablos blue truck that has railings on each side. No railings, only our hands and balance. That was a good experience. I did ask Sarah not to ride in the back because it is pretty dangerous and could be very uncomfortable on your bottom. So we all got there and it was beautiful. Mountains all around and in the middle a hot spring they formed a pool wall around to keep clean. They got baptized and most of the 30 people in our group went swimming. The whole time I was playing piggy back because noone with the exception of Lazaro knows how to swim. But us gringos began to teach them one by one to swim. Some caught on and others were too afraid. But we all had a blast. Oh did I mention that it was hot water. Sooo cool. Any ways we recently got back and I am about to cook dinner and then we have a youth meeting at Lazaros house.4 more days til Sarahs birthday and the new group arriving. Im Excited. God Bless!!

Day 5-9 Guatemala

2009-06-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

It has been a few days since I updated last so I will not try to write to general but here I go.
Wednesday was great being able to see all the kids from the school again. It looks like they are practicing some dramas and plays as well. Israel one of the teachers of the basico kids was here and he noticed me right away. Man I just love these people here. Oh and they opened their school up for the little kids because we are here but it will be only 3 days this week. But still is great to see them. When I saw them all playing in the play area down the steps I ran to play with them and I was immediately surrounded and hugged. Some remembered my name and others called me gringo. I promise seeing them all again i wanted to cry, but men dont cry so i held it in. Just kidding. After that Lazaro pulled me over and told me He had a project for me. I was to dig around every tree in the below forest so the children could plant flowers around them. That night it was raining really hard which made driving very dangerous so only Pastor Mike, Lazaro, and myself went to Parramos to go to Moses church. No not the same Moses from the bible.

The next say Thursday, we went to play again with the little kids here and we pulled out beach balls, bubbles that blew 3000 bubbles in 60 seconds, baseball bats with the ball, and we had a blast with them. After that we served them lunch and it is truly an honor to serve these people. I don't think they'll ever know how much there lives have changed mine. When that was over I went to do more work down in the forest below. Then I saw Eric and Victor(2 basico students) playing soccer outside on the field so I could resist. I placed mytool down and went to play with them. They are about 12 and 15 yrs old. After that I went back to the play ground area where there were a few children waiting for there mothers to be done cleaning up inside. So I played with them for a few hours. One girl which I forgot her name played peek-a-boo for 45 minutes with me and never grew old to her. Every time I caught her eyes she began to laugh hysterically. Later that night the basico or high schoolers did there dramas in church and it was phenomenol. And some were in English too. Wow. They had the church packed out all the way to the walls outside where people watched from there. That was a powerful night. Luis got up and shared his testimony that night in English and Spanish. He translated his own words. Talented guy. After this we drove him to the capital and that was the last we saw him.

Friday was a good day as well. I went up to Cruz's house and helped them set up for the wedding reception a little. Anibal got back from working in the capital and was over there, so it was good to see them. Then later I helped Maria in the church to set up for the wedding. Sarah and Pastor Mike and Glendy went to Chimaltenango to get food. This would be Hilberts last night so we went to Lazaros house for the youth bible study. Hilbert spoke and I in my broken Spanish translated, which supprisingly enough they understood. Then Lazaro got home and he let me translate the rest. Im not going to lie, that was alot of fun and was a great accomplishment to me. Later we all helped in the church last minute for the wedding and then we got invited over to cruz's house for dinner and fellowship before the wedding. I alonewent because it was late. I really felt honored. Good food too. We sat around the fire with a few others and worshiped the Lord. Tomorrows Cruz and Dalila's big day.

Today(Saturday) I woke up early and Me and Lazaro drove Hilbert to the Airport. We said goodbye and He told me the art show was the next day. I told Him to hug everybody there for me so I be expecting he did. LOL. We left and headed to Parramos to pick up Moses for to speak at the wedding. We got back with about 45minutes to spare and We got dressed up nice. The wedding was great and we took turns congratulating them and taking pictures with them afterward. Then we all hiked up to Cruz's house for the dinner reception. Much better food than the night before. But then it bagan to rain. Even the tarp over us all was helping. The wind seemed to cause it to rain horizontally. I ran back and got sarah a coat because she was real cold. And we all piled inside for some tv. Shortly afterward we went home where I immediately layed down. I was feeling sick and it was a perfect day for it. It was pouring outside so there wasn't much I could do today. Better I guess than a week day when the school is running. I rested the whole day. This morning on Sunday and Fathers day I woke up no longer feeling sick but Sarah does now. She will feel better later. She is strong.

Day 4 or so Guatemala

2009-06-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

So on my last post I left off when we went to church. That was an incredible time of worship and prayer and Pastor Mike brought the word which, in my own words, was about us all being lil Jesus'. But what really hit me was that a few girls now come from Xe Parquiy (Not Che Parquiy, I spelled it wrong) every service and even for school here now. But Rebekah, one his about 15 years old gave her life to the Lord. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!! Lazaro announced it in church and all the church lined up to hug her and bless her for her confession. What a cool way to welcome her in. Los Gringos got to pray for the ones who walked forward and the spirit really broke forth. I began to cry while I layed my hand on Daniels mom and I felt some sort of sensation go from me to her and the she began to break down crying. I kept repeating to her "You are valuable. You are accepted." I want the people here to know how loved and accepted they are and they are valuable for who they are.

The next day we went to Lazaros school in Antigua to see if we could get him some time to make up work if he misses Saturday class due to a new group that comes down. The Director of the school was a very strong willed and confident woman. And very funny. She was white but has been living here for a long time that there is no difference in her accent. She even offered to give Spanish classes One on One for whoever wanted to come down. Afterward we spent a couple hours in Antigua because Luis wanted to visit. This is his first time here. We left there and went to CHimaltenango to visit a mission in which they take in children where the mothers cannot and give them food, shelter, school, church, and teach them basic hygiene. And all for just one quetsale a day. They raised the price to Q2 a day and the children were being pulled out of the program. They lowered it back and the mothers still could not afford it. Now they are waiting for God to show them the next step. What a great faith was in them too. We then drove to the Maxi Bodega to the movie theatre and brought many of the youth from the project here. It was a great time knowing how seldom they ever even get to leave the mountain. What a joy.

Today we didn't do much ministry. Hilbert had scheduled a trip to the Volcano and we horse backed up as far as we could and then hiked the rest of the way. Once we got to the top (Me, Sarah, and Luis) we were so hot and standing on three year old and hardened over lava. A little up was a river of lava flowing and glowing red. What a surreal feeling it was. All around was dark and surrounded by clouds. It felt like another planet. I grabbed a rock and we hiked on back. We just got back about an hour and a half ago. And in 15 minutes we will be praying with whoever joins us for the night. God truly is the God of Panimaquin and all the world. We are expecting great things to come forth. God bless you all!

Day 2 Guatemala

2009-06-14T10:18:00.002-07:00

I know I said I would write every day while I am here but the internet is sometimes working and well other times it is not. But we flew in Friday night at about 9:15 and was picked up by Lazaro. I don't think I ever made the trip up in the dark. Up the mountain we were to about when we got to CheParqui. We had to leave the vehicle behind and hike about a hundred yards up where we were awaited by Lazaros wife Glendi and Pablo. We through our luggage in the back of the pick up and drove the rest of the way to the project. OH, I forgot to mention why. There are putting in a new road and so its all dug up and blocked off and so we had to walk about a hundred or so yards to the pick up. One hundred yards is not difficult at all, but when it is 11:50 at night and you got all the dogs in the village barking and surrounding us it isnt the most happy welcome. I laughed and thought 'well, everyone oughta know for sure the gringos made it here'. That night we passed out quick because of the jet lag our bodies felt it.

The next day started about 8. We walked up about half way to San Diego (not the one in California) and prayed. It was on this walk we were reaquainted with quite a few villagers including Cruz and Delila and there 1 year old baby Karen. They are the day John Hilbert heads home. What a joy to see them finally marry. Its been a rough time for them but there are pushing ahead. Praise God! We sort of planned out what we would do this week with Lazaro and the crew. Oh yeah, Pastor Mike brought a friend down here named Luis. Hes a great guy, can cook great, and speaks fluent Spanish. We begin our days out with devotion and end with devotion and try to invite people from the village always to join in. Almost like church everyday. The project is usally empty during the weekends so it was a good time for me to really spend time with God and read and just settle in to my home for the next month. We headed to Chimaltenango to get groceries for the week and exchange dollars to quetsales. We headed back and met Jaun Carlos and his younger brother Mario for devotion where I shared out of Joshua Ch7 of Achans sin. My spanish is better than before but still has a long way to go. Quite often I run into the language barrier where I'm left in an awkward silence to all i can do is point or do Charades hoping they would understand the story I tell with my hands. But its all fun. God is flowing and my prayer is a great unifying would come over the village. No more divison. Just Unity.

Today we woke up about 7 and ate breakfast first before climbing the mountain. Then we bagan our prayer hike to San Diego. This time we went all the way. At the top we encountered Veto again with His son working thier crops. Guatemala, well especially Panimaquin, grows much colliflower which is what they had. Each bud put forth sooooo much colliflower it was rediculous. Well we got to pray with them and over there fields we blessed them. Then we walked back. Sarah shared her devotion this morning in the church on the things we go through, especially the hard times, should really stir us to go help someone who is in the same type of situation. God comforts us so we can comfort others. Ha, what an idea. It was a good time with much worship and prayer. To girls from ChePargui joined us including Jaun Carlos, Mario, Cruz, and Lazaro. Later around 1 in the afternoon Glendi returned from Chimaltenango with her two children and her niece. They were there all weekend for a family meeting so really this was the first time we got to really see each other. Right now its about 5 here but 7 there and I know at Robyns house the Sunday night group is meeting now, which we will prayer for as i Know and appreciate all your prayers. Church begins soon and Its dinner time here.......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......is that chicken. God Bless

PUT GOD FIRST

2009-05-31T07:14:00.000-07:00

Written by Oswald Chambers

"Jesus did not commit Himself to them . . .for He knew what was in man"

—John 2:24-25

Put Trust in God First. Our Lord never put His trust in any person. Yet He was never suspicious, never bitter, and never lost hope for anyone, because He put His trust in God first. He trusted absolutely in what God’s grace could do for others. If I put my trust in human beings first, the end result will be my despair and hopelessness toward everyone. I will become bitter because I have insisted that people be what no person can ever be— absolutely perfect and right. Never trust anything in yourself or in anyone else, except the grace of God.

Put God’s Will First. "Behold, I have come to do Your will, O God" (Hebrews 10:9).

A person’s obedience is to what he sees to be a need— our Lord’s obedience was to the will of His Father. The rallying cry today is, "We must get to work! The heathen are dying without God. We must go and tell them about Him." But we must first make sure that God’s "needs" and His will in us personally are being met. Jesus said, ". . . tarry . . . until you are endued with power from on high" ( Luke 24:49 ). The purpose of our Christian training is to get us into the right relationship to the "needs" of God and His will. Once God’s "needs" in us have been met, He will open the way for us to accomplish His will, meeting His "needs" elsewhere.

Put God’s Son First. "Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me" ( Matthew 18:5 ).

God came as a baby, giving and entrusting Himself to me. He expects my personal life to be a "Bethlehem." Am I allowing my natural life to be slowly transformed by the indwelling life of the Son of God? God’s ultimate purpose is that His Son might be exhibited in me.

Practicing His Presence

2009-05-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Today I was reading from 'Practicing His Presence', a fantastic read, and so I wanted to share with you all what really jumped out at me.

"We used to sing a song in the church in Benton which I like, but never really practiced until now. It runs:

Moment by moment I'm kept in His love;
Moment by moment I've life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.

It is exactly that 'moment by moment', every waking moment, surrender, responsiveness, obedience, sensitiveness, pliability, 'lost in His love', that I now have the mind-bent to explore with all my might, to respond to Jesus Christ as a violin responds to the bow of the master.

In defense of my opening my soul and laying it bare to the public gaze in this fashion, I may say that it seems to me that we really seldom do anybody much good excepting as we share the deepest experiences of our souls in this way. Its is not the fashion to tell your inmost thoughts, but there are many wrong fashions, and concealment of the best in us is wrong. I disapprove of the usual practice of talking "small talk" whenever we meet, and holding a veil over our souls. If we are so impoverished that we have nothing to reveal but small talk, then we need to struggle for richness of soul. As for me, I am convinced that this spiritual pilgrimage which I am making is infinitely worthwhile, the most important thing I know of to talk about. And talk I shall while there is anybody to listen."

We in the western world lack something that I believe is crucial as a follower of Christ. I was talking to a few people the other day of why we believe Jesus was so attractive beyond the physical. He was a real, genuine and authentic person. He was secure in who He was a the child of God Almighty and he didn't struggle with being who Jesus was.

I want to be like that, to where everything I do just reflects the greatness of my relationship with God. I want to be able to carry on a legacy of a man after God to where I would always be walking in His will with my ear to heaven waiting quietly to hear what God wants to do next.

Softening Your Heart

2009-05-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

"If you want to break up the fallow ground of your heart, you must begin by looking at yourself. Examine and note the state of your mind. See where you are. Many never seem to think about this. They pay no attention to their own hearts, and they never know whether they are doing well in there faith or not. They do not know whether they are gaining ground or going back; whether they are fruitful or going to waste.
Now is the time to divert your attention from other things and look into this. Make a point to do this. Do not hurry. Thoroughly examine the state of your heart and see where you are. Check to see if you are walking with God every day or with the devil.
Self-examination is looking at your life. It is considering your actions in the past and learning its true character. Look over your personal history. Examine your individual sins one by one. I do not mean for you to take a glance at your past life, see that it has been full of sins, then go to God and make a general confession. That is not the way. It is a good idea to take a pen and paper as you go over them and write each sin down as they occur to you." Charles Finney

Do the deep work!

2009-05-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

I have recently realized that alot of the things throughout my day and in this instance, my job at PetSmart, have deep spiritual lessons packed into them.

At my job, we recently had an audit come in (the big dogs of the company to check and correct and judge our work ethics and the environment in which we work). They walked around for hours with a clip board and checking things that we do and don't do and watch peoples customer assistance and our commitment to the job and making it a safe, clean, and hospitable place for the dogs and cats and other pets that come through.

There is a certain requirement that is placed on every store that we are called to and a certain standard to attain. To be honest, we as a store are a very lazy and inconsistent people with the exception of a few vets. Veterans that is, no Vetrinarians. So when we here the big dogs are comin everyone goes nuts and scrambles to do some fake, brush over work, that doesn't do much to get to there standards very well.

WE FAILED!!! Big shock right. Nope! Everyone was trippin. I said to my manager, ''you know why I think we failed. We lack such integrity. We don't do the work to keep at the level and so when crunch time comes we aren't ready.'' She agreed.

It goes right with our spiritual walks with Christ! When we lack integrity and don't seek consistently and with persistence to be in the center of HIS will we will fall. We might think we can fool someone by the fasad that we put on and the scriptures we quote but it isnt real. Eventually we must come before Almighty God and stand as we truly are with know cover up.

So I feel we ought to do the work NOW and then we keep up with the work and stay consistent and steadfast unto God.

Find what God is using around your day to teach and reveal and deep spiritual lessons. I'll write another tomorrow about something else He showed me. God bless.

ONE THING

2009-05-03T12:55:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago we went to a conference where the Lord really broke through and revealed some true stuff to me. Through the worship the Lord was gracious in forgiving me and releasing me into a new kind of freedom i have felt in justs spurts through my life. This lasted the whole weekend. and I felt I brought it home with me.

I went to the leaders message which was the second day and He really began to lay a desire to lead low and build a real lifestyle of prayer and fasting. An urgency fell on me that was wether or not Christ came back tomorrow or 1000 years from now, WE DONT KNOW SO STAY READY and PREPARE YOURSELF NOW.

I dont want this to leave my grasp. I need this to remIN THE FOREFRONT always.

2009-04-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 4:1-3 ¹Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ²Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. ³And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing.

I think it should be our goal to stay so open and transparent that we would be the ones who proclaim these verses. WE RENOUNCE THE SECRET AND SHAMEFUL WAYS!!! I want to get my life here and I believe God is drawing us to this. Don't worry if things are uncomfortable or things don't go our way. DO NOT LOSE HEART. It is God's mercy and grace that has enabled us to stand and move forward in the fashion we are moving. So let us remain humble, but confident in Christ. Loving, and also willing to always speak plainly the truth of God. Never lacks your standards or get scared or worried you may offend someone but speaking truth out of Love. I don't want to pass up an opportunity to share Christ or to advance His kingdom because of ME!

Helpful or Heartless toward others??- Oswald Chambers

2009-04-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

Do we need any more arguments than these to become intercessors-that Christ "always lives to make intercession" ( Hebrews 7:25 ), and that the Holy Spirit "makes intercession for the saints"? Are we living in such a relationship with others that we do the work of intercession as a result of being the children of God who are taught by His Spirit? We should take a look at our current circumstances. Do crises which affect us or others in our home, business, country, or elsewhere, seem to be crushing in on us? Are we being pushed out of the presence of God and left with no time for worship? If so, we must put a stop to such distractions and get into such a living relationship with God that our relationship with others is maintained through the work of intercession, where God works His miracles.

Beware of getting ahead of God by your very desire to do His will. We run ahead of Him in a thousand and one activities, becoming so burdened with people and problems that we don’t worship God, and we fail to intercede. If a burden and its resulting pressure come upon us while we are not in an attitude of worship, it will only produce a hardness toward God and despair in our own souls. God continually introduces us to people in whom we have no interest, and unless we are worshiping God the natural tendency is to be heartless toward them. We give them a quick verse of Scripture, like jabbing them with a spear, or leave them with a hurried, uncaring word of counsel before we go. A heartless Christian must be a terrible grief to our Lord.

Are our lives in the proper place so that we may participate in the intercession of our Lord and the Holy Spirit?

The Secret Place

2009-03-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

I believe the Lord is calling all of us (the body of Christ) to get close to Jesus. Alot of people say Christianity is not a religion it is a relationship, and its the truth, but it very seldomly walked out as a healthy relationship. But God does not turn His back, He is still calling us in, He is still waiting and waiting and waiting for us to make a move. He has no problem putting up a wall to keep us from doing something. He has no problem forgiving over and over, but He wants us to KNOW HIM. Lately I have been feeling such a pull into the secret place and I don't want that to die down. Let us all get desperate and hide in His shelter. He is able and willing to completely heal, deliver, and transform us, but we must get close. Nothing to be afraid of because He is worthy of all our trust and reliance to be placed upon Him. ETERNAL LIFE IS KNOWING HIM!!!!!!!

JESUS

2009-03-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

Lately when I get into prayer, I am filled with such distractions that make it more than challenge to really dive in deep. Well i guess lately i have been more aware of them. Each time I feel i get to a certain place in which I am about to speak of when in prayer. I sort of envision a wall and it is not real bright and upon the wall sits Jesus. And each time I see Jesus I get real excited in prayer and try to grab His attention and then I just want Him to get up and come to me.... but He just's sits there. So I start to get tired and then it all zooms in upon His face and I can't really depict it but He looks sad every time. So then I start panicking like, uh-oh, what did i do. Though He literally doesn't say anything, I feel in my heart the song about Him being tired of my show and then He points me into Mathew in which it says only serve one master.

He is showing me how easily distracted I get by the things of the world and really wants me alone with Him. REAL INTIMACY!!! Squash the false God's, the ungodliness, the sinning, and especially the casual pursuit of God. Whats that? For you, oh John, have not yet resisted sin to the point of shedding blood. Until you really desire and get desperate, I feel like it will keep us on our up and down motions. Lately to me God has been rebuking me and calling me to Maturity, and He would have us all do this, so let us throw away that which hinders us and that sin that so easily entangles us and run with perseverance the race marked out. All Eyes On Him Always!

BRING MORE THE REBUKE O LORD, MORE THE FIRE!!!

From what motives should a man pray?

2009-01-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was reading from the autobiography of Charles G. Finney, when I came across a very convicting and true text to us all. I'm not the best at summarizations, so here it is in direct text:

I was the guest of a Mr. B--, one of the elders of the church and the most intimate and influential friend of the minister. One day as I came down from my room and was going out to call on some inquirers, I met Mr. B-- in the hall. He said to me, "Mr. Finney, what would you think of a man who was praying week after week for the Holy Spirit and could get no answer?"
I replied that I would think he was praying from false motives.
"But from what motives," said he, "should a man pray? If he wants to be happy, is that a false motive?"
I replied, "Satan might pray with as good a motive as that," and then quoted the words of the psalmist: " 'Uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways, and sinners shall be converted unto thee.' See?" I said, "the Psalmist did not pray for the Holy Spirit that he might be happy, but that he might be useful and that sinners might be converted to Christ." I said this, turned and went out immediately, and he turned abruptly and went back to his room.
I remained out until dinner time, and when I returned he met me and immediately began to confess. "Mr. Finney," he said, "I owe you a confession. I was angry when you said that to me, and I must confess that I hoped I would never see you again. What you said," he continued, "forced the conviction upon me that I never had been converted, that I never had had any higher motive than a mere selfish desire for my own happiness. I went away after you left the house and prayed God to take my life. I could not endure to have it known that I had always been decieved...." However, he was all broken down then, and from that time became a new man.

The reason why I bring this up is because how similar it is to many of the very same things we do today. SO I URGE YOU ALL TO EXAMINE YOUR HEARTS. Look inside and ask yourself why? Why do i feel this way? Why does this make me do that? And so on. God is looking for pure individuals to manifest His glory and power in.

Get to know the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. INTAMACY and INTAMACY and INTAMACY is the key. I love you all and I pray revelation of the love of Christ upon each one of us.

The Peace of Christ

2009-01-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

Lately, I have been studying the life of Jesus and the ways in which He would react in certain situations. For forty days He allowed Satan to stand close by and tempt Him when all the while He had the power to say "BE GONE WITH YOU SATAN!!!", and he would have had to go. Because He is Jesus, King of kings. But if you look at it there were three recorded incidents in which satan would tempt Him with some crazy stuff and He kept His cool through it all.

Now what got me thinking about this was I was reading out of a book, 'The Three Battlegrounds' by Francis Frangipane, when Francis brought forth this very same confrontation. He didn't cast out satan from the desert, but rather through peace and perseverance he tackled each attack or temptation and flipped the attack on to satan to where ultimately satan left. HIS PEACE is what the enemy could't stand.

This book it has just been ringing bells in my spirit. I mean confirmation to revelation to more confirmation. I reccomend this book to anyone who is hungry for God. Many of us in a situation similar to that would fall into the trap or get beaten down in defeat, because we don't access that peace which comes through the Holy Spirit. When we see the injustice in our families or friends or even our church, often we revert to act from a humanly way. Which personally has been out of anger, out of offense, out of FEAR. But Christ stayed in peace. It reigned in His heart.

So the only way that I know of how to attain this peace is through getting to know the Father. When we stop thinking everyone is the problem when really they're just broken and in need of a savior like we were at one time, and many times still. I want to soak in His presense, I want to KNOW HIM. Lets stop fighting each other and just look to God. He is love. He is worthy. IN JESUS NAME

THE PLACE OF HUMILIATION -Oswald Chambers-

2008-10-15T11:23:00.001-07:00

After every time of exaltation, we are brought down with a sudden rush into things as they really are, where it is neither beautiful, poetic, nor thrilling. The height of the mountaintop is measured by the dismal drudgery of the valley, but it is in the valley that we have to live for the glory of God. We see His glory on the mountain, but we never live for His glory there. It is in the place of humiliation that we find our true worth to God— that is where our faithfulness is revealed. Most of us can do things if we are always at some heroic level of intensity, simply because of the natural selfishness of our own hearts. But God wants us to be at the drab everyday level, where we live in the valley according to our personal relationship with Him. Peter thought it would be a wonderful thing for them to remain on the mountain, but Jesus Christ took the disciples down from the mountain and into the valley, where the true meaning of the vision was explained (see Mark 9:5-6 , Mark 14-23 )."

If you can do anything . . . ." It takes the valley of humiliation to remove the skepticism from us. Look back at your own experience and you will find that until you learned who Jesus really was, you were a skillful skeptic about His power. When you were on the mountaintop you could believe anything, but what about when you were faced with the facts of the valley? You may be able to give a testimony regarding your sanctification, but what about the thing that is a humiliation to you right now? The last time you were on the mountain with God, you saw that all the power in heaven and on earth belonged to Jesus— will you be skeptical now, simply because you are in the valley of humiliation?

UNDIVIDED!!!!!

2008-10-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

Numerous occasions throughout the bible it speaks of unity between the church, unity between the trinity, and unity between our own self as well, which is what I am going to speak of. I was reading in Mark 3 today and I read the part where Jesus had said "no kingdom divided by itself can stand". And in the same sense he also says "and if a house is divided by itself it cannot stand".

The second part is what I want to focus on. So as I began to meditate on this verse the Lord helped me too take it deeper and reminded me of the verse in Corinthians in which Paul refers to our bodies as the temple, or dwelling place of God. I guess you can also use it also that we are the house of God. So then I started looking at my walk and the different places I've went with the Lord, and even sometimes (well, actually quite often) when I would drift from the place I knew God wanted me. Every body at one time or another goes through these up and down movements with our walk, the way I don't believe the Lord intends for our lives.

So anyways, He said "No house(or temple) divided against itself will stand." Our flesh loves to get into our mind and even in the way we walk out or lives. And we as believers know that the flesh is opposed to God, and God is opposed to our flesh or sinful nature. So when we choose to live part way in the spirit but also go back into our flesh we are bound to fall. We cannot stand, we become unstable like a man who builds a house on sand. But then the Lord takes it a step further into His message and says, "No one can enter a strongman's house and plunder his property(or in my words take back what has been stolen) without first tying up the strongman; then indeed the house can be plundered." Now this part is HUGE if we want to get past these ups and downs. Our whole lives (for me 17 years) have been lived in the flesh or 'apart from God's peace', and so we have had a long time to become accustomed to what the flesh likes and build many STRONG habits.

But by the Grace of God He has given us the strength through Jesus to kill those old habits (tie up the strongman) and take back what is ours. Our God-given beauty, our self-worth, joy, peace, love, real friendships, destiny, and these are only a few of a long list of what gets covered up and long since forgotten to us and so many people in the world. Oh and the fact that we are loved by God is huge!! But Jesus came to free us from all of this. So tie up that strong man! Kill your flesh daily! Live in the Spirit of Christ! Rest in his presence! Read His Word! That is where our strength lies... IN HIM!!! I love you all and am so very encouraged to see what God has done in us and will continue to do. Keep your head up and stay focused on Jesus!!! Peace and Love.

OSWALD CHAMBERS- "Building on the Atonement"

2008-10-09T10:19:00.000-07:00

I cannot save or sanctify myself; I cannot make atonement for sin; I cannot redeem the world; I cannot make right was is wrong; purify what is impure; or make holy what is unholy. That is all the sovereign work of God. Do I have faith in what Jesus Christ has done? He has made the perfect atonement for sin. Am I in the habit of constantly realizing it? The greatest need we have is not to do things, but to believe things. The redemption of Christ is not an experience, it is the great act of God which He has performed through Christ, and I have to build my faith on it. If i construct my faith on my own experience, I produce the most unscriptural kind of life- an isolated life, with my eyes focused solely on my own holiness. Beware of that human holiness that is not based on the atonement of the Lord. It has no value for anything except a life of isolation- it is useless to God and a nuisance to man. Measure every kind of experience you have by our Lord Himself. We cannot do anything pleasing to God unless we deliberately build on the foundation of the atonement by the Cross of Christ.

The atonement of Jesus must be exhibited in practical, unassuming ways in my life. Every time I obey, the absolute deity of God is on my side, so the grace of God and my natural obedience are in perfect agreement. Obedience means that I have completely placed my trust in the atonement, and my obedience is immediately met by the delight of the supernatural Grace of God.

Beware of the Human holiness the denies the reality of the natural life- it is a fraud. Continually bring yourself to the trial or test of atonement and ask, "Where is the discernment of the atonement in this, and in that?"

The Panimaquin Experience!!!

2008-08-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

So we got back about a week ago from Guatemala in the small mountain top village of Panimaquin. Through those ten days God gripped our hearts in a new way, He built and began relationships between us Gringos and those native to the area, and i truly believe He did something so awesome that we will see the effects to the end of our lives.

The first day we arrived and we were so exhausted, but we all just noticed how loving everyone was. They were all bringing our luggage in, our groceries, and just greeting us as we pulled up. Now a few of us, this would be our second time going. I was shocked to see how many people remembered my name. I felt so honored. They really saw us as special people and it just really touched me. When we got there, Jes had already been there four weeks and was getting to go back home about the same time we would. It was a blessing haveing her on the trip, because she really helped seal the language barrier between the two groups.

We would wake up at about 6/7 every day and start the day off with prayer, have more prayer, and end in prayer. A very prayerful trip. Many times i along with others from the group had the amazing privelage to help Glendi(Pastor Lazaro's Wife) cook and prepare the meals everyday. That was cool just getting to spend that hour or so before a meal with her in the kitchen. What anawesome, down to earth, woman of God. Every day at lunch, except for the two days out of town, we would eat along side all the kids in the project all ranging from pre-K to 9th grade. It was good although we couldn't understand everything they were saying. But still, none the less, it was good. We would help clean up afterward and get ready for whatever else be on our agendas.

When we got there there were a few projects we were to kick out, and even though we were to do it, Daniel was helping almost the entire time. Alot of grew clost to him on the trip. Also his dad Pablo came to help quite a bit. Any ways, we helped rip out the old, termite destroyed ceiling and frame, and replace it with a new frame and insulate it with styrafome sheets. Also we painted Pastors house, and Eric had a bit of Electrical work to do.

Once most of the work was done we had much time to just grow and connect with those of the village. We got so close to many of them which made it very difficult to leave, and even write this now with out feeling homesick. We helped teach English, we played with all the kids across the road, we played with the kids down below, we grew close to Daniel, Jaun Carlos, and the entire Lazaro family, we saw Cruz again and his wife and new baby girl, we prayed for the woman, prayed for the men, invested time into just loveng them, stayed quiet when they wanted to speak, attempted to speak their language, shed tears over a number of precious, beautiful children. WE were BROKEN in prayer every day. I'd say we left a piece of ourselves there and i am dying to go back, In just ten days, a people we barely new became our close brothers and sisters.

Id be writing forever if i were to go into detail of my expereince, so ill just leave it at that. God is alive and strong and He is moving powerfully across that village and I along with my brothers and sisters here will stay faithful in prayer for something we belive in and have been a part of first hand.

PSalm 103

2008-07-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

PSALM 103

A Psalm of David.

BLESS the LORD, O my soul;

And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

Bless the LORD, O my soul,

And forget not all His benefits:

Who forgives all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases,

Who redeems your life from destruction,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

Who satisfies your mouth with good things,

So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD executes righteousness

And justice for all who are oppressed.

He made known His ways to Moses,

His acts to the children of Israel.

The LORD is merciful and gracious,

Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.

He will not always strive with us,

Nor will He keep His anger forever.

He has not dealt with us according to our sins,

Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

For as the heavens are high above the earth,

So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

As a father pities his children,

So the LORD pities those who fear Him.

For He knows our frame;

He remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;

As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.

For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

And its place remembers it no more.

But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting

On those who fear Him,

And His righteousness to children's children,

To such as keep His covenant,

And to those who remember His commandments to do them.

The LORD has established His throne in heaven,

And His kingdom rules over all.

Bless the LORD, you His angels,

Who excel in strength, who do His word,

Heeding the voice of His word.

Bless the LORD, all you His hosts,

You ministers of His, who do His pleasure.

Bless the LORD, all His works,

In all places of His dominion.

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Parable of the Kingdom of Heaven

2008-03-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

Mat 22:1	Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying:
Mat 22:2	“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son.
Mat 22:3	He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.
Mat 22:4	“Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’
Mat 22:5	“But they paid no attention and went off–one to his field, another to his business.
Mat 22:6	The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them.
Mat 22:7	The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.
Mat 22:8	“Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come.
Mat 22:9	Go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’
Mat 22:10	So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, both good and bad, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
Mat 22:11	“But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes.
Mat 22:12	‘Friend,’ he asked, ‘how did you get in here without wedding clothes?’ The man was speechless.
Mat 22:13	“Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
Mat 22:14	“For many are invited, but few are chosen.”

Oswald Chamber's "Taking the Next Step"

2008-03-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

".....in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distress" (2 Chorinthians 6.4)

When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in reading and studying His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, than it does to preach the gospel.
Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands. We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no miprovement, but only experience our everyday life with its trivial tasks. The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only wat to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you. Never allow yourself to think that some tasks are beneath your dignity or too insignificant for you to do, and remind yourself of the example of Christ in John 13:1-17.

2008-03-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

Alright, so this was a verse that really stuck out to me......... and should to us all. This is what we are to clothe us with:

Col 3:14-17

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
Beyond all these things {put on} love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms {and} hymns {and} spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, {do} all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. - Col 3:12

I am so blessed to have came into such a loving group as this one. You all bless me so much. God is so serious about us all. Robyn is right, how many prophecies we gotta here spoken over us before we let go of ourselves. I'm ready to do this but it needs to be a group thing just as it needs to be an individual thing.

Holiness is a Choice

2008-02-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

We all know that we have died to sin and have been given new life through Jesus. It says that we have died to sin, therefore don't let sin reign in your bodies. Holiness is a choice. We still are breaking our old habits of the past and learning to rely not on ourselves but fully on God. I am so excited at what God is doing, however, i want to remind us all that we still have a sin nature. After all, our whole lives have been in sin. We didn't know much else.

I brought all this up because I am reading this book, The Pursuit of Holiness, and it is really speaking to me. When you have been given freedom from sin, know there will still be a fight so don't EVER let down your guard. It is our choice to choose that or His Holiness. The next time you find yourselves in temptation - watch - and you'll see a battle in yourselves between desire and reason. Desire of course being to go and sin.

You all are doing so awesome. I am so proud of all of you. I thank God for each one of you. Stay in the Word, Secret Place, Prayer, and Worship. Robyn has been saying it foreverrrrrrrrr.

It should be a joy and not an obstacle to tackle. So lets get close to God!!!

Faithful: Brooke Fraser

2008-02-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

I heard this song from Brooke Fraser that really spoke to me.
"I cannot sense you close but I know your always here, but the comfort of you near is what i long for. When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same. When I can't hear you, i know you still hear every word I pray, and i want you more than I want tolive another day, and as i wait for you maybe I'm mademore faithful."
It really isn't about what we feel or what we see. It is just knowing that He is always present. He is always focussing on us. So be encouraged because we are sooo LOVED by God. Don't get iscouraged. Don't get depressed.Don't get stalled. Don't lose focus. Stay knowing that we are all His children. He holds all things in His hands.

Maturity!!!!!!!!!!! Yahoooo!!!!!!!

2008-01-10T21:12:00.000-08:00

Alright, many of us (well, id say all of us) have experienced some turbulence lately. I want to encourage everyone that this is not a time to feel condemned or unworthy. We are past that. We have been made worthy through the blood of Christ. Also, I want to share a few verses the Lord really laid on my Heart.

Hebrews 5:7- 6:6
In the days of his flesh, when He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and who was heard because of His piety, although He was a Son, He learned obedience from from the things He suffered; and having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation; being designated by God as a high priest according to Melchizedek. Concerning him we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For every one who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is a baby. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about Christ, let us press on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God... For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to rnew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God, and put Him to open shame.

So, be encouraged and stay strong. You all are mighty warriors of His righteous Kingdom.

What an honor.

Hear His Voice!!!!

2008-01-10T06:41:00.000-08:00

I listened to this message yesterday and i would just like to share of what spoke to me. Lately have been real drained. Somehow i found the strength (lol) to pop in a message into my cd player. It was about the abundant life we have through Christ.

If we would just listen to Him speak we will be filled with life.

So I started listening and I began to feel strengthened. Even though I was sick I could no longer I let go of everything and entered His presence.

I was renewed, refocused, i found strength, I was encouraged.
His presence is the source of Life.

And then to go a step further to realize He is with us everywhere we go shows that we are always in His presence. WOW!!!!! I just want to encourage all of us to spend time with the Father. I mean real time, away from all the other things in this world, to hear him speak to us.

Father, I thank you for your love for us all. I pray we will prioritize our lives better to make you the center. You are amazing, Father.

Read This

2007-10-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

Guys i really felt that God really put on my heart to tell you this. This is not a time to fool around, not a time to bairly get by, not a time to slow down or to get lazy. This is a very important time right now. We've prayed for sooooooo much but are we willing to work through it. This is a time when we really need to press in and get close as posable to God. God is stirring something up and through his grace he is giving us some time to get ready. Are we going to? We need to constantly pray for our family, friends, generation, nation, area, schools. Gods saying He is preparing something big, real big. And not many people to work the harvest. So we need to run extra hard til God says rest. HE IS WORTHY.

JEsus CHrist ESsay

2007-09-20T18:28:00.000-07:00

This is an essay I had to do in class today. I chose to write on the most influential person to me. I was gonna write about Robyn but then I realized that its Jesus in her, to be real. Its not her, but Jesus in her. So I went on to write about Jesus. The teacher is going to read this aloud, so i ask for all your prayers so it hits with transforming power. Thanks guys.WELL, this is what I wrote:

The most influential person who ever became a part of my life is Jesus Christ. (1) The first and most impactful part of his character is his love. He has proven his love by dying on the cross for our sakes. He was rejected his whole life for being the Christ but that doesn't change his love for us. When I had finally come to the realization that someone died for me I began to look at this man in a whole new way. This is a man that is perfect and has never sinned had so much compassion for such a sinner and failure in so many ways. He had hope in me. He has forgiven me from a lifestyle of drugs, alcoholism, perversions, and a list that goes on and on. Despite all my imperfections and all my faults he still chooses to look and see me with love. I'm not worthy of what I have but I am blessed beyond measure. (2) Another striking characteristic of Jesus is his boldness with the truth. Now the Pharisees were the religious leaders of his day and yet it did not stop him from saying things such as 'You are white washed tombs', or the way he related himself to God the Father. This really had pushed their buttons. But because he was not seeking honor for himself he did not receive dishonor either. I also remember reading in one of the gospels a group of enraged people dragged a woman they caught in the act of adultery and threw her at his feet and got ready to stone her. Jesus spoke back to them and said 'He who is without sin, cast the first stone.' Everyone dropped there stones and walked away. At the Last Supper Jesus spoke to Peter and said 'before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.' Now Peter, in his pride didn't understand because he says he will go anywhere with Jesus. (3) Thirdly and certainly not the least of his traits would have to be the amount of knowledge and understanding he withheld. When he was led into the desert for forty days to be tempted by Satan he never let down his guard. But instead he stood strong and threw the word at him. Saying things like 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only', also 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test'. Time and time and time again he used scripture to back up his actions. This is a primary example that the word is like a double-edged sword. And also he says time and again to the religious leaders. The prophets of old wrote of me and if you would believe them you would believe me. Jesus Christ is man full of love, bold as ever, and filled with knowledge, just to name a few of his characteristics. This man is one I long to follow and strive to be like. I want to see people the way this man sees me.

A Poem

2007-09-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hey guys i was reading yesterday and this passage real stuck out to me and i think it applies to all of us. Really take the time to read this. You can also instead of there example you can substitute it with any worldy distraction.

You watch TV instead of praying because you do not hunger and thirst after righteousness.
You watch TV instead of praying because you are fatand well fed.
You watch TV instead of praying because you like the melodies of babylon.
You watch TV instead of praying because your eyes are dark and your heart is cold.
You watch TV instead of praying because you have a religion that is talk but has no power.
You watch TV instead of praying because you enjoy food offered up to idols.
You watch TV instead of praying because you do not understand the lateness of the hour.
You watch TV instead of praying because you have come to justify your indulgence of the flesh.
You watch TV instead of praying because you have fallen asleep while the bridegroom tarries.
Therefore, in My mercy says the Lord, I will come to you and unsettle you and make you lean and hungry and thirsty.

When he said "You watch TV instead of praying because you enjoy food offered up to idols." The world practices and portrays its idolatry on TV. You would never do the things they do on TV, because you don't serve their idols. But when you watch them do it, you are eating the food they offer to their idols.

I posted this because i feel and alot of us feel its time to live wholeheartedly towards the Father. God I ask that you strip us of our pride and or disobedience Father. I ask Lord, that You would truly put a hunger for You in our hearts God. That we count all things as worthless if they are not eternal. Yeah give us a desire and a passion for that which is eternal. Not the worthless crap that occupies our time now but will soon be taken from us. God i ask that it be all about you Lord. You are worthy of so much more. Thankyou Jesus. AMEN!

HE SPEAKS

2007-08-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

So here i am talkin to Wes and God just starts speakin. Tellin me the importance of just bein quiet and just being reflective and waiting and trusting him to lead. I have found myself many times in my life just going and doing things right away. Just because i am spending some time in prayer or reading his word it must be gods will. But i dont seem to take it to him or really see what he wants to do.

So I encourage us all to really seek His will. One thing that frustrates me is that when we hear something that sounds good we jump to it and automatically label it Gods will. Do we even know his will. Do we even know God. what Im sayin is mainly to me but to all.
The only way we will ever come to know his will is through knowing him. The only way we will come to know him is by really spending time with him. i mean come on is it really that hard.

So this is what he said to me just now. God i ask that you put a desire in us to truly seek your will. Let us be patient and trust in you with our lives. God theres lots of stuff i would like to do but it all means nothing if its not what you want. Lord take the deception away and shine your light in to us. Bring what is in my heart to the light. Give us godly motives and really keep us reflective with our lives. amennnnnnnnnn

Psalm 1 of John

2007-08-18T14:26:00.000-07:00

The Lord sees my faults. He knows when I will screw up before I even do. He sees the end from the beginning. Nothingis hidden from the creator. Despite the many (VERY MANY) mistakes I make He chooses to LOve me.

Lord I deserve to be thrown into the pits of hell to suffer all of eternity. But you have redeemed me from my sins and cleansed me and made me knew. I praise you LORD! You are amazing. You have chosen to see me as holy and blameless God. Thankyou for your love Jesus that would die for my life. You are indescribable. I praise you Lord. Turn my eyes to you o Lord and hold my hand so I wont sin.

I am only a baby and am now learning to talk let alone walk. But you are teaching me. I rebel against you and you forgive me. WHY??? I will never understand why. But i will praise your name. Lord keep me faithful to you. So I ask for your grace as I can not even pray without it. Thankyou for your grace. I ask for wisdom Lord. Let me know and be able to discern between the times and seasons. I praise you God. AMEN.

FRIDAY 8-10 journal entry

2007-08-14T11:28:00.001-07:00

Last Friday God really had brought me into a deep place with him. I was prayin over and over 'Lord, keep me faithful to you. Don't let me compromise.' I was filled with just so much faith that i just knew that everything we were praying for God heard and he wants to honor.

That was when he showed James 5:17 which says 'Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly for no rain to fall, none fell for three and a half years.' Through this God showed me the power of prayer. Then i thought of the verse 'If you abide in me and me in you, you ask for whatever and it will be given unto you.'When you truly ask and ask and ask from the right heart he will give it to you.

We prayed for all those who forgot the Lord... including myself. Thats when he showed me that verse. So I knew that they are gonna come back. God was breaking my heart that night. I knew that there was alot of hardness and pride in my heart and so i felt him purifying me. Man did that hurt too. But it was so worth it.

God is so good and has done soooooooooo much for us. Yes the Lord knows what we need before we ourselves know but he wants us to pray and ask him. He loves to give his children good gifts.

So i guess what i want to say is that don't lose heart when you go through difficult times but push through to the end. Remain faithful to him. He has soo much instore for those who stick it through. Be encouraged. When you pray make sure you believe for what you are saying or it will be just a bunch of empty words. Have faith. We all have screw ups but its better to fall toward him than to fall behind. He is good. KNOW THAT.

Fear of Love

2007-08-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

I was in the Hop praying and I started going on a journey into my past. I remembered some pretty uncomfortable times in my life. I remember my mom would say "Goodnight John, I love you" and immediately i would start to build a wall to this thing called love.

Man it must've been til' maybe age 14 when I said I love you for the first time to a family member. And even then it was under my breath. My brother and family would always pick on me that i never said it. I felt so much as the odd man out in my family. And also it wasn't til age 12 or 13 when I hugged my family for the first time. Just this past weekend I hugged my sister Desiree for the first time and it was awkward for me. Even that, it was her wedding.

I had a girlfriend in middle school that i dumped after one week because I didn't know how to deal with a relationship. I also was never close to anyone in my family. The most I would usually say to them is "hi, how are you" or "see you later". I never went after a girl since that breakup because... honestly, i was afraid. Afraid that i would not what to do. I started to have homosexual thoughts go through my mind because of that.(by the way, i thank God i never pursued that lifestyle).

Seeing my family grow up having girlfriends and boyfriends, and loving each other like brother and sisters should be with me out of the picture just seeing it all as a spectator, really brought a lot of depression upon me. I would hide in fear when i saw someone would try to be close to me in my family. I was so embarrassed with myself. Seeing my friends that hung out with their brothers and sisters did not help with my depression.

Then one day my friend introduced this thing called weed to me which I jumped all over. I fell in love with it. I felt like it was the solution and completion to all my problems. Everyday i'd crave it and I would never be at home because I was always smoking with my friends. Man I really felt that when I smoked i was filled with Peace and Love. I felt comfortable saying I love you to my friends because i was with them a lot when i smoked.

At the time i clung to the "Christian" title which became my scapegoat for the happiness I felt when I was high. So i was depressed and deceived into thinking I was full of love and a great Christian. Then pretty soon the "LOVE" I felt from smoking was not enough so I had to smoke more and do more drugs which resulted in a large debt. And which made it even harder to feel that peace with all this stressful debt. Finally I got arrested and charged with possession. My dad came and picked me up that night and was very hurt. I didn't, because I was so numb towards my family. The next day i never felt so alone, and so full of pain. I wanted my life to end asap. But then on my last breath my attention was fixed on God and i started to write out a prayer from my heart because i was afraid to do this out loud. At that moment he came in and my life was changed forever.

Again i felt peace and love, but at such a higher degree, also i felt joy, thankfulness, and a strong fear of God. I worshipped until my step-mom took me to the impound to get my car. She was yelling at me unaware of the change in my life. I told her i asked God to come in and he did. She didn't believe me. I didn't care because i felt so much love for her and compassion. Something i never felt before. The next day i went in to work crying because how gracious the Lord is to us all. I got to say I love you Dad and really mean it. I was unashamed of this chande that had just occurred and I was loving it.